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Sexy Tips to Explore Your Kinks

Liven up your love life with our tips for exploring sex together

The word ‘kink’ can seem overwhelming, but there’s a middle ground between reliable-old-missionary-position sex and a leather-clad dominatrix with whips - and it’s a middle ground you might just like to explore!

The key is to find something you’re both into and both comfortable doing while having fun as you push the boundaries.

 

1. Talk it through

You need to talk to your partner and find out what turns them on, what their innermost fantasies are, and what just doesn’t do it for them.

Make time to sit and really talk things through at a time when you’re both relaxed, confident and open to discussion.

Agree that you can talk about anything without judgement, but remember that talking doesn’t necessarily equate to doing – it has to be something you both want and are both happy with.

2. Get a safe word

Deciding on a safe word is really important, as saying ‘no’ doesn’t always work when you’re dabbling in kink.

A word that’s completely random and out of context works best, so decide on a safe word and make sure you’re completely clear on what it is – and what it means if either of you say it.

Make sure you both feel happy and confident that it’s OK to use the safe word if things are heading in a direction that you’re not happy with.

It’s also a good idea to agree on contraception before you get started.

 

3. All tied up

Once you’re ready to explore, one of the first things many couples like to try is being tied up.

You can start by gently restraining your partner with your hands, or if you want to take things more slowly, take turns holding on to the headboard – and agree that while you’re doing this, you’re not allowed to use your hands.

If you like it and want to take things to the next level, move on to using silk scarves or ties and enjoy feeling passive for a while.

If you’re with someone you trust completely, the feeling that they can do whatever they like to you while you’re tied up can be very, very sexy.

 

4. Role play

This can be a great gateway to exploring your inner kink, as pretending to be someone else often means you can leave your worries and inhibitions behind and really enjoy sex.

Keep it simple to begin with – wearing sexy underwear can help you feel like a different person and give you greater confidence when having sex.

Moving on to role play such as teacher/student and doctor or nurse/patient (with or without costumes) can take things to the next level.

If you want to take things a step further, arranging to meet separately at a public place and acting like strangers who leave together can work wonders to inject a bit of spice into a relationship (just remember the contraception).

 

5. Sex toys

Sex toys are a great way to add a little kink to your sex life, and they are something you can both enjoy together.

Try using a pleasure gel (Durex® make ones that tingle, warm or even increase the likelihood of female orgasm) or a textured condom as contraception for starters.

If you want to try a vibrator or massager, there’s a huge variety of different types and sizes available.

Talk to your partner and see what they would feel comfortable trying, then have fun shopping together and enjoy the anticipation of getting home to give it a try!