Give me five adjectives for the best sex you’ve ever had - GO:
It’s a pretty good bet that the word “intense” made that list somewhere.
Intensity is something that all great sex seems to feature, and though it may seem easy to work out why intense sex is great, it’s a little harder to work out why great sex is intense. “Intense” sex could refer to a quickie that leaves your fingernail marks in your partner’s back, or a long, slow experience where you never break eye contact as you melt into each other.
To help unravel the mystery of what gives great sex its intensity, let's take a look at some of the qualities that all kinds of intense sex tend to share. From there, we can work out how pretty much anyone can inject a bit of intesity into sex.
Anticipation can mean a long, slow build up over a number of hours, but it doesn’t have to. An entire day’s worth of anticipation can be compressed into the few seconds in which you throw caution to the wind and start tearing each other’s clothes off.
This links in with anticipation, as it requires a complete losing of yourself in the moment, embracing the fact that you need this more than anything else in the world right now. Time stands still, and it could be five minutes or five hours, but it doesn’t matter – nothing else matters.
This doesn’t mean that a long term relationship is the only avenue to great sex – a connection is something that can be felt instantly, and can last just a few hours. When sex is shared between two people who already feel a love connection, though, that level of togetherness can deepen to such a point that you forget that you’re actually two separate people.
Intensify your sex life
When things like anticipation, passion, or connection are focused on too closely, they instantly risk losing their magic. If it was as easy as just deciding that you want to feel these things, then every time would be the best time. There are things you can do though, to make sure that you don’t take these things for granted. Be spontaneous, and don’t resist trying new things (as long as they don’t make you uncomfortable), and allow yourself to be lost in the moment. All of life’s little worries will still be there when you’re done, so free yourself from them and allow yourself to fully experience each other.
Most importantly though, get to know each other. Get to know what the other likes and dislikes during sex, but make sure you get to know them outside of the bedroom as well. If there is one thing that can provide intense, better sex, it’s that mutual respect, and connection – which isn’t something that can be created, it’s earned.