Orgasm 3 top FAQs

Dr Adam Kay

I talk to a lot of patients about orgasms. And they often ask me questions - for instance, “Why are you talking to me about orgasms? I’ve got a broken ankle.” Here are some answers to some other frequently asked questions.


Not such a strange question as you might think at first. It’s obvious why men orgasm – evolution is encouraging them to come by making it fun, so as to keep civilization going. Women on the other hand (although it’s obviously great when they do) don’t  have to orgasm in order to get pregnant – you could have twenty kids without so much as a whimper. Scientists have studied this mystery for decades, and (rather boringly) we still don’t have a good answer. The current best thinking is the same reason why men have nipples – all humans develop from the same basic building blocks, and end up with a couple of “spare parts” that we don’t strictly need. But we’re very glad that we do!


If I had a pound for every time I’d been asked about the G spot, I’d be able to fund an extremely large scientific study into the G spot. And like all the studies before it, it would probably prove entirely inconclusive. The G spot is very much the Loch Ness Monster of sexology – people have been searching for it for years, and no-one’s ever demonstrated any convincing evidence that it exists. What we know for certain is that about half of women find there’s a specific area in their vagina that causes them a lot of pleasure. But this area varies in position from woman to woman, has never been conclusively demonstrated on scans, and half of all women can’t find such an area at all. So my message is always the same: don’t worry whether you’re “normal” or not – literally everyone is different inside. Explore what works for you – if you find a specific area that feels great, then enjoy it (whether or not it has an official anatomical name) and if you don’t, then don’t worry – you’re in good company: roughly half of the women on the planet!


Around a quarter of women expel fluid at the time of orgasm, and all across the world researchers investigate, bicker and squabble about what female ejaculation actually is. Some studies are adamant that women are squirting urine, and have bladder ultrasounds to prove it. Other studies have examined female ejaculate in the lab and believe it comes from the Skene glands (also known as the female prostate) within the vagina. Plus there are studies which believe these conclusions both to be true, representing two entirely different types of female ejaculation. It’s difficult to know which is correct – and with more research we may learn more – but the important thing is to not get hung up about what’s going on: you’re in the bedroom, not a physiology classroom. If you ejaculate when you come, don’t over-analyse it and certainly don’t be embarrassed by it.



Dr Adam Kay qualified as a doctor in 2004 and has worked exclusively in obstetrics, women's health and sexual health. He is the author of the best-selling medical textbook "Rapid Obstetrics and Gynaecology", and writes on health issues for Cosmopolitan UK. He is also one of the country’s most sought-after script editors for TV comedy.