Shadeen Francis: LFMT, CST

There are lots of reasons people use and are curious about sex toys! The simplest answer is that people use sex toys because they want to feel pleasure.

Sex toys are tools that are designed to support your pleasurable experience of your body. They can mimic forms of pleasure you already enjoy (like suction or penetration) create sensations that your own body can’t (like vibration), and they can bridge accessibility gaps for folks who have physical barriers to self-touch or partnered touch (like sensitivity or mobility challenges). Using sex toys can be a way to learn more about your body, explore sexual sensations, experience pleasure or orgasm, or for you to try sexual acts with or without a partner. They are tools, and you get to choose what you’d like to use them for.

There are many different options of sex toys that have been created for all sorts of desires and bodies: 

  • There are non-penetrative toys and toys that can be used for penetration. 

  • There are toys that mimic body parts (often genitals, but really could be any part of the body, toys that look like everyday objects, and toys that are abstract and unique in shape. 

  • There are toys you can hump or rub on, toys that vibrate, or that have airflow that mimics suction.

  • There are toys made of medical grade silicone, stainless steel, non-porous crystal, sealed wood, or even some made of plastic. 

If you’re reading this and think you’d like to use sex toys yourself, explore your options and follow your curiosity! Two questions I invite you to ask yourself are: “What am I feeling curious about or excited by?” and “What am I open to trying?”. You may find yourself curious about things that you don’t want to try, and that is completely normal. We all have fantasies or interests that we don’t want or need to pursue. Asking yourself these questions will help you tune into your body and guide what you would like to explore without getting caught up in chasing a particular goal or outcome. If you’d like to use something with a partner, be sure to ask them these questions as well. Don’t forget that sex toys are designed for pleasure, and our most pleasurable experiences are ones that are free of pressure.

I wish you peace and pleasure in your exploration.

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