Headshot of Karine posing for the camera in front of a white and pink backdrop

A quick guide to feeling comfortable having sex with the lights on - By Karine

I was going to start by saying: “There are no tricks for this, because you’re perfect just the way you are. You should never be ashamed of your body. ” But I know it isn’t that simple. 

So, first of all, these are my own tips, they don’t come from a body image specialist.

1. Learn to love your naked body

If you can’t even look at yourself naked in the mirror, obviously you won’t be comfortable in front of your partner. The more comfortable you become with your own naked body, the less awkward you’ll feel in front of someone else. Your body is beautiful, normal and perfect. Your body is your temple. Cherish it. Stop comparing yourself against other people’s bodies. 

2. Think of your pleasure 

It’s a lot more exciting to see your partner experiencing pleasure than not, right? So, if it’s exciting for you to see your partner enjoying sex, remember that they probably feel the same. Having sex with the lights on can increase that pleasure. 

3. Consider your partner 

Maybe you feel self-conscious because you think that the other person will notice your flaws and won’t want to have sex with you again. Or maybe you think that your partner will think you’re less perfect than other people they’ve seen naked. And these worries make you focus only on what you look like during sex. You’re “performing” instead of sharing with your partner. Tell yourself that if you’ve reached the point where this person wants to have sex with you, they already find you desirables. Besides, do you even notice your partner’s flaws? No. You find them beautiful, no matter what. Well, guess what: it’s the same for them. 

4. Forget about outside judgment 

Stop thinking about what you look like or what this or that person might think of you. The only thing it does is ruin the moment. Of course, I know it’s easier said than done. But the more you practice letting go during sex, the easier it gets. 

5. Be in the present moment 

Think of the sensations you’re experiencing right now. Close your eyes and focus on what you're feeling inside. Your body gives you a way to feel pleasure, to be good to yourself, to experience an incredible moment with another person. The experience you’re having through your body is beautiful. So celebrate it!

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