How to Ask Him to Wear a Condom
In a perfect world, every guy would just assume they need to use protection — but in reality, it’s still really important to learn how to ask your partner to use a condom.
Don’t worry. It doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation. As long as you know what to say and prioritize safety (for both of you) in the heat of the moment, you can make the right choice and get on with having a really pleasurable time.
So, if you’re wondering how to tell your boyfriend you want to use condoms, or if you need a simple script to follow during first-times with someone new, try starting with these key speaking points.
1. Tell him you don’t want to get pregnant.
An obvious but important conversation. Not wanting to get pregnant is a personal choice that every partner you consider having sex with needs to respect. Full-stop. Remind him that you have your own life plans and goals, and you’re not going to risk changing that for a little unprotected sex. Any lover worth letting into your bedroom will understand where you’re coming from.
2. Demand their respect.
Using a condom is a sign of respect to your partner. If he doesn’t respect you enough to help both of you stay safe, is he really worth having sex with? Similarly, if you’re worried about how to ask him to wear a condom because you fear an angry reaction — that’s another sign they don’t deserve you in the first place.
3. Remind him: you’ll still feel close to each other.
Saying you don’t want to use a condom because you “want to feel closer” to someone just isn’t an acceptable excuse. Remind him that the best way to feel close to another person is by making them comfortable — and you’ll be much more likely to relax and let your guard down if you know you’re protected by a condom.
4. Look out for each other’s health.
Emphasizing the threat of STIs is another strong option if you don’t know how to ask your partner to wear a condom. Even if you’ve only engaged in oral with another partner, there’s a chance you could have contracted something without knowing.
5. Don’t fall for fake love.
If a man says unprotected sex will make him love you more, tell him that if he loved you, he wouldn’t expect you to expose yourself to extra risk. Love doesn’t protect against STIs, which is why you may have to learn how to ask your partner to use condoms even if you’re in a long-term relationship.
6. Tell them to be an adult.
If someone calls you “immature” for not wanting to have unprotected sex, they’re actually the ones who need to do some growing up. Practicing safe sex is the mature, responsible choice — so don’t feel pressured into taking any unnecessary risks.
7. Find the right condom.
It’s possible your partner’s hesitation towards condoms is simply due to the fact that they don’t know which kind to use. Encourage them to explore different shapes and sizes, and have some fun experimenting with unique styles like Durex Mutual Climax featuring pleasure-enhancing lubricant. You can also use the Find Your Fit tool for personalized suggestions.
8. Don’t be afraid to say no.
If you go through all these conversations and your partner still refuses to use a condom, just say no to sex with them. Remember, there are other ways you two can have some sexual fun without risking an STI or unwanted pregnancy. And if he’s still not willing to wear a condom during sex, you should probably reconsider if he’s worth being with in the first place.