How To Make Long-Distance Relationships Work

Are you in a long-distance relationship? If so, are you finding your long-distance relationship falling apart due to a lack of pleasure on top of the obvious physical space? For many people, being in a long-distance relationship (or LDR) can feel like a roadblock on top of the many challenges that a typical partnership brings. Even in the best of times, lovers who drastically live apart from each other can feel added stress or pressure to make one another pleased and satisfied. Some may even ask themselves, “how do I spice up a long-distance relationship sexually?”.

The truth is: time away from each other can truly enrich your relationship, and this solitary period is a chance to reignite the spark. But when it’s ongoing, there could be paranoia or intrusive thoughts at play if communication isn’t stable. Independent of whatever long-distance situation it may be, every partner has the ability to gain coping skills and see things from a fresh perspective. You can view your situation as a form of exploration, or an opportunity to tease out kinks and stimulate a deeper understanding of one another. It’s about using the LDR to your advantage and focusing on your significant other no matter where they are. It’s about learning how to make long-distance work for all partners involved.

Relationship guidelines look different for everyone, and there’s no perfect way to have a fulfilling sexual and/or emotional arrangement. And when it comes to a LDR scenario, there’s definitely no perfect way to get physical as much as one would like. However, there are methods to help spice up a long-distance relationship sexually that can indefinitely make up for lost time. This article will take a closer look into that. Afterall, nothing feels better than being closer.

1. Fun Long-Distance Date Ideas

Man sitting on a public bench blowing a kiss to his long-distance partner through the phone.

Contrary to popular relationship guidelines, there’s actually plenty you can do with your significant other(s) if you wind up in the spot of a LDR. You can spice up your long-distance relationship through creative spins on old classics and maintaining a strong sense of commitment/loyalty to each other. For some people, long-distance may even be ideal. This could be because it can form stronger independence, trust-building, and discipline. It may also teach someone to know themselves better. It can even make people sure they’re experiencing real love, not just lust.

However, there are steps to remember in order to make long-distance work that are necessary to point out for every faraway romantic situation. Here we’ll detail fun long-distance date ideas that can help couples find their spark again, make up for lost time, or move forward with a better understanding of their position.

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2. Get Deeper Together

Because we’re all evolving human beings, and we constantly grow and adapt to new life changes, there’s a lot more to uncover about ourselves - even when in a relationship. We may think we know our partner’s likes, interests, and dislikes to the core, but there are other hidden features about our loved ones that have yet to rise to the surface. This brings us to our first fun long-distance date idea: getting deeper. You already know we like it deep.

In order to get deep and master how to make long-distance work, you have to ask your partner(s) the questions they haven’t heard from you in a while or ever (if that’s the case). You can get deeper with one another by asking them about their childhood, best movie/music recommendations, favourite memory in the past year, most bingeable podcast, world view on a trending debate, biggest fear about getting older, etc. These questions will have a ping-pong effect as the tables will turn and you’ll give your answers in reply. This creates a “re-getting to know each other” first date, for lack of better terms.

This is particularly important for long-distance couples who’ve already been together for a long time, as it can reignite that pleasure flame through the power of speech. To spice up your long-distance relationship sexually with this deeply divine verbal date idea, ask your partner(s) questions about their wildest fantasies, where they long to be touched, something that turned them on recently, their favourite adult film, what will happen the next time you see each other, etc. Lead them on a sexual journey through a deep, and much needed, conversation starter.

Speaking of adult films, read 6 Ways Watching Porn As A Couple Can Actually Improve Your Relationship for groundbreaking insights and revolutionary takeaways.

3. Have Conversation Check-Ins

Woman holding her heart during a tender moment with her lover over a video call.

Now, don’t just give up after the initial deep discussion is over. It’s vital for people in LDR arrangements to maintain strength and keep the long-distance relationship from falling apart (if it’s moving in that direction) through frequent check-ins. It may sound like child’s play, but checking in with your partner(s) throughout the day or every couple days helps strengthen connections which is key in knowing how to make long-distance work. Strive for quality as opposed to quantity. Set aside time slots to truly focus on one another attentively without distraction. Not only will it make them feel good and strengthen your bond, but it’ll help you to understand what you value in a partner. This is a key element to grow as a human. 

And, there’s a fun date idea in here somewhere! You can play a quick round of your favourite virtual trivia game with one another, share food recipes and propose a cook-off during the next video call, do a half-hour cardio workout with each other on separate screens (and hold each other accountable for the exercise), or simply talk about your days and what you have planned tomorrow. Maintaining these convo check-in routines will help build a sense of normalcy.

For a sexy little check-in idea, share your hottest memories together when you were in-person and tell your partner(s) how you’ll recreate those moments next time you see each other. Also, find the time that works best for these verbal quickies. If catching up over mid-morning coffee is typical for you, set aside 20 minutes around that time for a video chat. Or end the day by telling your partner(s) how grateful you are for them and what you appreciate. Make sure they’re on the same page with the check-in time, and the rest is still unwritten.

4. Tease And Challenge Each Other

There’s nothing like a little more-than-friendly competition to build anticipation to see each other again when in a LDR. Particularly if your relationship is fairly new, this date idea will meet anyone’s relationship guidelines as it packs the fun. Challenge your partner(s) to virtual Settlers of Catan- the cult-classic board game that you can actually find online. Or play truth or dare over a video call with prompt sites like PsyCatGames. Anything to help spice up your long-distance relationship.

Now, if you’ve been together for a longer period of time, we recommend teasing each other by curating a watch list of shows, movies, or music you don’t agree on. Challenge each other to try something new and go beyond their comfort zones, then have them get back to you with an honest review of their hot takes. It’s also entertaining to continue physically pushing yourselves together even when apart. Attend a virtual fitness class or find an intense YouTube link for some heart-pumping adrenaline. Working out not only improves your mental wellbeing and allows you to unleash your partner’s competitive nature, but it increases blood flow which can help with the sex you’ll soon be having!

It’s much easier to achieve your goals with ongoing support, so let your significant other(s) be that for you. We’re all familiar with ‘to-do’ lists, but it’s also actionable to celebrate the positive things you’ve achieved by writing a ‘have-done’ list together. This helps reiterate the growth you’ve achieved and can bring you closer through shared experiences. We’re all hard on ourselves all too often; let this exercise take some of those pains away. Let it be a pillar in figuring out how to make long-distance work.

5. Go Traditional, But Sexy

Person’s hands opening up a package delivered to them by their long-distance partner.

Harken back to the good old days by sharing classic excitement with each other with a sexy spin to it. Finding out how to make long-distance work could mean referring to tried but true methods of showing love while becoming extra personal. To honour this, we recommend sending a present or care package to your LDR lover with something that you know they’ll gush over. You can hint at little things prior to collecting the items for them, in an effort to better understand what they may like at the moment. And it doesn’t have to break the bank! You can include simple things like body lotions, their favourite fragrant teas, a photo from a time spent together in person, a collection of chocolates, our Durex Intense Bullet* vibrator, or a graphic T-shirt with a cute expression. Better yet, schedule a FaceTime with them when their gift arrives to see their reaction.

Another traditional form of communication that can actually result in a fun long-distance date idea is sending a love letter or handwritten snail mail to mix it up from the usual text exchanges. This is special for LDR because it genuinely shows the extra effort and emotional attachment you’re willing to provide to your partner(s), and you can personalize it with sweet stamps and fill it with inside jokes. This traditional form of love can also be cathartic for you, as it can help you express emotions that you may struggle with showing in person. On a planet where technology runs rampant, and fleeting computerized back-and-forths take centre stage, it’s nice to remember we have these other methods that can make your partner(s) feel seen, heard, and loved.

Want to add more heat to those written exchanges? Hear The Sexiest Ways To Use Our Most Discreet Vibrator for an additional layer of pleasure on top of the back and forth thrill of the conversation

6. Keep Up The Surprises

Closely related to the above sentiments, it’s an opportune time to keep your partner(s) on their toes when in a LDR. Though routines are common in a relationship, no one wants to feel bored or uninspired. This can actually lead to someone being ‘checked out’ - which is the opposite of how to make long-distance work in the first place. An interesting suggestion we think could bring more pleasure is to striptease over a video call when you’re in the mood and your partner’s somewhere private. This can throw them off guard in the steamiest way possible and make them beg to see more. Then, if you choose to give it to them, masturbate and touch all your pleasure areas to put on a live show. Try using a Durex water-based lube* in the process to really feel stimulated.

Another surprise can be to start practising another language and see if your LDR partner(s) can join in on the international fun. Using an app like Duolingo to help you guide each other when learning new words and expressions has that strong element of surprise while lending a hand to culture & education. It keeps learning fresh and strives to break away from the same old rituals we’ve adopted when it comes to using slang and speaking in short-form. This fun long-distance date idea can strike up a new chord in your relationship and begin to understand other pleasures in the world. Now, how do you say ‘nothing feels better than sex’ in Finnish?

7. Prepare For The Physical

Two men sharing a lighthearted kiss after seeing each other again in person.

Okay, now you just got the call that they’re coming to visit you soon… What do you do in the meantime? According to our relationship guidelines, it’s now time you practise some foreplay techniques on your own before they make their much-anticipated re-arrival. Explore our couples & massage lubes and pleasure gels* to aid you in sexual skill refinement and all things relaxation. Take the edge off yourself by rubbing our massage lubes into your sweet spots, then letting your partner(s) take over the control once they come into your arms again. A little self-care now can turn into a private pleasure session later with your loved one(s).

It’s another good idea to prepare for the physical by speaking with your partner(s) over the phone, prior to the action, about what you want to happen sexually when you see each other. Undoubtedly, this will tease and excite them right up until the moment they caress you up close. Share everything in detail about what you want to do with them and what you want them to do to you. If you’re into it, try whispering all your desires. Make them drool before they get wetter in person.

8. The Last Lap

After establishing some practical yet pleasurable relationship guidelines for how to make long-distance work if you’re in (or end up in) that situation, we want to remind you to keep your head above water. We know a LDR can amount to heaps of stress, confusion, and worry about the future but, if you lock down strong communication, you can have a very fulfilled and happy relationship. Gravitate towards future possibilities and try not to dwell on the negatives. Your partner(s) are going through the same thing you are! Lead with each other, not against each other. And, as always, look forward to a lot more pleasure to come.

*Ensure this product is right for you. Always read and follow the label before use.

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