Ah, yes, the coveted simultaneous orgasm – it’s ultimate #sexgoals, right?

But being able to orgasm at the same time can be a tricky thing to master. Heck, it can be hard enough to orgasm with your partner at all, let alone in perfect harmony.

Even if you can climax no problem when you’re alone, it’s not uncommon for your orgasm to go MIA when you’re with a partner — especially for women.

This can be chalked up to physical and psychological influence. Maybe you’re not getting what you need from your partner when it comes to sex, or you might just be struggling to relax (easier said than done).

That’s totally normal. And we’ve put together some tricks and tips to make mutual pleasure a regular part of your sex life as a twosome (or maybe moresome?) and hopefully make orgasming at the same time a reality.

Our first suggestion?

A bottle of Durex lube sits on a night stand, ready to help partners cum together.

Add Durex lube* to the equation

Durex lubes and gels* can be an excellent way to put the “O” (my gosh!) back into your orgasms. These products can help by increasing the sensation of your intimate areas and intensifying the sexual experience, which might help you both orgasm at the same time.

A woman lays on her bed during an intimate encounter.

Give your partner a show

Show your partner exactly what you like by masturbating in front of them. You are, after all, the expert on your preferences and desires. Tell your partner to get comfortable for prime viewing and proceed as if they’re not even in the room.

Or, if you’re into a little dirty talk, describe what you’re doing to your partner. This is not only a sexy move, but it will make it easier for them to retain the details so they can put their education to good use later.

If you’re a bit shy, you could have your partner watch through a half-open door instead. This should ease your nerves a bit, and your partner might get turned on by the wildly hot voyeurism of it all.

This activity can also be a good opportunity to work on climaxing at the same time. Masturbating together can help you discover what you both enjoy, and it might be easier to control when you orgasm when you’re the one steering the ship, so to speak.

 A happy couple feeling connected in bed after a shared orgasm.

Replicate how you masturbate

Consider how you masturbate (for example, ladies might lay on their stomachs). Then, seek out sex positions that get your body into similar positions to mimic the effect. Just like that, you might be one step closer to achieving a synchronized orgasm.

A couple experimenting with a new sexual position to help them cum together.

Explore new positions

Trying a new position can also help you orgasm at the same time. May we suggest the Coital Alignment Technique (also known as CAT) – a position designed to maximize clitoral stimulation. To achieve this one, the receiving partner should lie on their back and spread their legs (think missionary position). Then, the other partner should get on top – but slide six inches or so further up the woman’s body than usual.

The key is for the shaft or root of the penis to press against your partner’s clitoris. You'll want to rock gently together for this pose rather than going for quick thrusting.

And if there’s no penis involved, you can use the Durex Intense Bullet vibrator* for some orgasmic results. Just turn it on and gently press it against the clitoris for a cum-worthy sensation.

Simultaneous orgasms, here you come!

(See what we did there?)

Want to please your partner big time? Learn how to take her to paradise.

A Durex Intense Bullet vibrator is ready for some orgasmic action.

Practice makes perfect

Pick up a sex toy (like our Durex Intense Bullet*) and use it to explore the angles and rhythms that you like best. Then, fill your partner in and enjoy the benefits of your studies!

A woman wearing a bunny mask, used to enhance her next sexual experience.

Try wearing a sexy outfit (or a mask)!

Maybe you feel self-conscious about how you look during sex. Hey, we all have our hang-ups. If this is the case, maybe you’d feel more confident in a sexy outfit with a little extra coverage — that still highlights your favourite features.

If it’s facial expressions you’re insecure about, why not try wearing a mask? No, not that kind. (Unless you want to). Think masquerade ball…or even a simple blindfold to draw attention elsewhere. It’ll help heighten all your other sensations, too. It may be your first step on how to achieve simultaneous orgasm.

Either way, just try to focus on how your sexual experience feels, rather than that tiny dimple or scar on your thigh.

Another idea? You can never go wrong with sex by romantic candlelight. It softens everything up and really adds to the ambiance.

Want to have sex multiple times in a night? Here are some tips for going again.

Two people in bed, exploring playlists to accompany their next orgasmic session.

Turn to some tunes

Just like candles, you really can’t go wrong with a sex soundtrack. Music contributes to a steamy atmosphere and can turn up the heat and pleasure during sex.

A soundtrack also helps drown out any unwelcome noises like a creaky bed or (let’s be honest) those totally natural but sometimes uncomfortable sex noises. You know the ones.

Find a pre-made playlist to play the next time you get down and dirty or get adventurous and curate your own based on your partner’s tastes. If you’re lucky, the sounds of their favourite bands might help you orgasm at the same time in a perfect symphony of pleasure.

A woman visits the washroom before having sex, so she can focus on mutual climax.

Visit the washroom first

This may seem like an odd one, but bear with us. You’ve likely heard that peeing after sex is a good idea (as it flushes out any bacteria in the urethra during intercourse) but make sure you pee before sex, too.

There are few things worse than really getting into the moment, only to feel the dreaded sensation of having to pee. You end up holding back for fear of wetting yourself, which really doesn’t bode well for an orgasm at the end. So, empty your bladder and eliminate this worry from the experience.

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Now that you’re equipped with these simple but effective tips, we’re confident you'll experience same time orgasms in no time. And, if not that, hopefully you’ll enjoy more mutual pleasure even if the big event happens at different times. Hey, we’ll take an orgasm any time.

Want more tips on cumming together? Check out the art of the simultaneous orgasm for further reading.

*Ensure this product is right for you. Always read and follow the label before use.

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