Couple kissing on top of white sheets in bed.


Feeling pressure to be better in bed? Finding yourself yearning for hotter sex? Sick of the same old routine between the sheets? Lucky for you, there are multiple things to try in bed that foster deeper sexual connections and make relationships even firmer. Everyone deserves to experience great sex, not stale stimulation. There’s simply nothing better than being a boss in bed.

However, gaining boss status always begins with being an employee first. A rookie in the sex game on their way to be MVP, if you will. We’re not just born with a flawless libido. We have hits and misses, scores and losses. Rest assured, everyone has performance anxiety when it comes to being in bed making love with that significant other or part-time hook-up. The science of a better sex life begins with comfort and confidence, which helps set the mood.

Now, we may not be sex scientists, but we certainly have a couple formulas for you to try in order to make your sexually experienced resume even better. From ‘how to get better at sex’ tips 101 to physical teasers you can try (to make them cry with joy) to special Durex product recommendations, we have the goods to make you good in bed. We’ll bring the pillows and the blanket, so snuggle up to this.

Man lovingly draping his arms around his girlfriend.

1. How To Gain More Sex Confidence

Confidence isn’t taught overnight, and it’s certainly something everyone struggles with at least 120 times in their lives, but there’s a few methods to make yourself FEEL mad about yourself that we enjoy. Afterall, the science of a better sex life boils down to trust in oneself and certainty in performance. We’re quite positive you’ll pick up some of these attributes.

If you’re besties with the early climax and want to maintain a long-distance friendship, did you know These Hot Tips Can Help You Last Longer In Bed? See for yourself.

Two people touching fingers while smiling in bed.

2. Do Research Outside Of Porn

The first step to build confidence in bed stems from gaining credible knowledge from resources outside of pornography. Let’s face it, porn can be great (especially ethical porn) but it can warp your perceptions about what constitutes as great sex. Porn is meant for short-term entertainment purposes, not for educational content. And it’s highly produced (for the most part). Check out the Durex Sex 101 blogs for more rational and factual content.

Knowing the right things to try in bed starts with viable research - so crack open our sex books and learn your rhythm.

Foot dangling off the covers in bed.

3. Listen To Your Body’s Needs

Taking good care of your body and providing it with the nourishment it needs to sustain itself is a key factor in gaining more confidence to perform better in bed. Eating, sleeping, and exercising well can all help us with our sex drives and lead us to a better place when it comes down to baring it all.

Collection of Durex lubes being chosen from someone’s hand.

4. Masturbate

Now, this one goes without much of an introduction. If you try your hand at masturbating routinely, you can connect better with your body and mind which leads to a spike in confidence. Masturbation can also help increase sexual stamina. So when it comes down to playtime, you can be a #1 player. On this touchy subject, we recommend trying one of the Durex lubes* to help make things wetter.

Couple holding each other closely while lounging on a sofa.

5. Go Slow And Steady

Sometimes, lower confidence and anxiety about sex arises from feeling rushed or pressured to perform your absolute best. Consider your mental health and personal journey. Try not to jump right into penetrative sex and, instead, begin with some satisfying foreplay. Moving at a slower pace can reduce feelings of anxiousness. It’s okay to be the turtle because you may end up winning the race.

Women meeting hands while sharing an intimate moment.

6. Focus On Their Needs

The science of a better sex life, in terms of confidence building, also comes from prioritizing your partner’s pleasure. If they’re enjoying it, then you’ll likely be impressing them in bed. Instead of being a selfish lover and heading for the door post climax, you must nurture the full sexual experience and tend to their satisfaction. Don’t think of sex as a spitting contest, or a reason to show-off, but adjust your mindset to believe in the connection, not the competition.

Partners discussing things to try in bed before getting to the act.

7. How To Plan A Better Sex Life

Some wonderful things in life take planning. And we know being organized and thinking ahead of time doesn’t work for everyone, but, if you’re learning how to get better at sex, you should value the creation of a special moment. Sometimes, spur-of-the-moment sex just happens but it can catch you off guard which may explain feeling off your game. Here’s a few solid pointers for sexy planning.

Woman and man sharing a laugh after sex in bed.

8. Set Sexy Time

With all of life’s twists and turns, it’s important you find the time to turn up the heat and get twisted in your partner’s body. Make time together to connect physically. Trust us, there’s a happy ending. It’s called passionate punctuality.

Man laying on the lap of his partner while gazing into his eyes.

9. Have Hard Conversations

Not everything can be light and airy, especially in a relationship. But when you want to boost the connection and master the science of a better sex life, you must talk about the things that make you uncomfortable. Discuss what’s not working to make it work better. Productive talk removes the pressure you may face when you’re caught up in the sheets with your lover.

Couple learning how to get better at sex on their phone while laughing.

10. Remove Distractions

Mute those notifications, put the pets in another room, and shut off the media that can get in your head (unless it’s a sex playlist). Getting into a space where it’s just about you and your partner(s) will create better focus in the act. Get busy without being preoccupied.

Two men cuddling up to one another in bed.

11. Make A Sex Menu

A sex menu has to do with a curated list of turn-ons that help add a zesty variety to your sex life. Sit down with your partner(s) and identify the satisfying ingredients that would make attraction rise to the top. If your sex life is more vanilla, add some spices. Be open to trying new tastes. Sex should be a buffet, or multiple courses, not just a sample. Dessert is served.

Two partners holding each other in bed while one kisses the other’s forehead.

12. Create The Stage

The space around you helps lift the mood and partly answers how to be good in bed because it sets the atmosphere. If you’re hosting, take time to clean your sheets, spray some neutralizing scents, and maybe light a candle or two. This sets a pretty standard, and can elevate the entire sexual experience.

Man holding his partner’s face before kissing her.

13. How To Be Good In Bed Physically

Before you get physical, it’s crucial you feel physically ready for the sex-periences that lay ahead of you. First and foremost, give up the comparisons to others. It doesn’t help you get better at sex if you apply assumptions, past experiences, or rely on media to guide your best sex life. Pleasure is ultimately more diverse and creative than the images we so often see depicted in our world. You have to carve them out for yourself.

Now, here’s a checklist of a few physical tips you can do in bed that may just drive your partner(s) wild:

  1. Make the initial move - people tend to be attracted to their partners when the first step is made for them as it demonstrates confidence and increases arousal
  2. Lead with foreplay - partners often forget that whispering desires, kissing all over the body, massaging, slow stripteases, and fingering, handjobs, or oral sex can amplify the desire
  3. Tease with self-pleasure - let your partner(s) watch you touch yourself or keep the lights on to help steer memorable moments
  4. Make your fantasies known - your partner(s) can’t read your mind so let them know what you want and how you want it done (sex is mental, not only physical)
  5. Let go of how you look - don’t worry about your physical appearance as the experience is about feeling, not ‘appearing to be’
  6. Get loud - the science of a better sex life can be partially defined as noisy and vocal, so let out those moans, grunts, and tantalizing words whenever hit with a pleasure point
  7. Switch up your positions - explore a variety of sex poses and penetrative styles to keep the passion alive and each other fully interested in the immersive adventure

Speaking of positions, learn How To Get Mutual Pleasure From The 69 Position to amp up your sexually experienced lifestyle.

Durex Pleasure Ring and Durex Intense Bullet sex toys laying out on a rug.

14. Sexy Things To Try In Bed From Durex

After sex confidence is gained, plans are made, and physicality has been noted, it’s about time we chat about a few helpful Durex products you should try in bed to further your bed boss status. Apart from our giant selection of condoms*, here are some other standouts to make you rise to the occasion:

  1. Durex Pleasure Ring* - if there’s a penis involved, it should have a ring on it at least once. This toy delivers pleasure to all partners while keeping the penis harder for longer, is made with super-stretchy material, and is compatible with natural latex condoms and water-based lubes.
  2. Durex Play Massage 2 in 1 Aloe Vera* - soothe yourself, and your partner(s), with a gentle water-based massage gel and lube experience meant for slow and sensuous body massages (and maybe more after).
  3. Durex Intense Bullet* - good vibrations only. This quiet, compact, and waterproof vibrator is made soft & smooth to stimulate the nipples, clitoris, labia, or other regions you please for the best bedroom bonuses. Tip: try massaging your partner’s body with it during oral sex for a double whammy of pleasure.

On the topic of oral, it might be a good idea to listen to our sexpert’s advice in A Quick Guide To Oral Sex - By Karine for preliminary words of wisdom.

Two partners clinking their drinks before getting in bed making love.

15. Wrapping It Up

We hope you now have the assurance, or reassurance, you need in order to let your inhibitions go in the bedroom. The science of a better sex life starts and ends with connection, so get comfortable creating the chemistry we’re certain you have cooking inside you. Now get to bed and practise!

*Ensure this product is right for you. Always read and follow the label before use.

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